Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Don't Want To Obey!

Last week was a tough week for my family. While it was full of amazing people and a production that changed many lives, the busyness severely interrupted my ability to parent my children the way I needed to.
If you know anything about personality, you know that children, even from the same womb, respond to situations differently than their siblings. Some are compliant and easygoing no matter the situation while others will spin out of control at the slightest change in your parenting strategy. This is my precious middle child Benjamin. His temperament is that of a choleric/sanguine which simply means that he is strong willed and loves to be around people. Obedience does not come naturally for these types of children (or adults for that matter). But I don’t think strong willed quite covers it. Benjamin is the kind of kid that could make Dr. Dobson cry! I think after some time spent with my sweet boy, the good doctor would probably consider rewriting a good portion of his book “The Strong Willed Child”. Benjamin is without a doubt strong willed10. 

 Last week we were participating in The Thorn, an epic portrayal of the passion of Jesus Christ! It was taking up a lot of our time which left little time to focus on parenting. While Cameron and Joshua, my other two children, adapt well to situations like this, Benjamin will pick up on it in a skinny minute and begin to push through those boundaries that the choleric personality abhors! I only know this because I too am a choleric/sanguine. Yes, the apple doesn’t fall too far from this tree! After a week of full out backwards emotional discipline, because that’s the way we parent when we don’t have time, Benjamin and I were at our wits end. We had been in a battle of wills all week and because I allowed the busyness to get the better of me, Benjamin was winning.

There are several things that I took away from last week that I would like to remember in the future:

1. There will always be seasons of busyness in our lives and if we don’t have a plan for our family, chaos will soon follow.
2. Anytime we parent from our emotions, the child will always, always win the battle.
3. While the child may have won the battle, we don’t have to let him win the war. We will not parent perfectly and when conflict ensues we must assess the wounds and mend the hurts because there is still a lot more parenting to be done.
4. There doesn’t have to be a battle if we follow rule #1.

After that week was over Benjamin and I had a chance to sit and assess the battlefield together. We walked through the process of repentance, forgiveness and restoration and he ended our conversation with this: “Mom, I understand why I have to obey God; I mean he is the creator of the universe. But you are human just like me, so I don’t understand why I have to obey you”. I reminded him of the truth that God’s word reveals about it in Proverbs 22:6. My job as his parent is to train him. God gave him to me for that purpose. His job as my child and more importantly as a child of God is to obey his parents as the LORD instructs him in Colossians 3:20. He completely understood, but enthusiastically made it known that he did not like it!

No one told me that parenting would be this hard. I often ask myself why people don't talk about how tough it is.  I think it could be for two reasons. One because if they did, no one would want to have children and two, I think the love between parent and child covers a multitude of sins!


Precious Benjamin has had a tough trip on the road to submission and we are getting closer every day. We might take a few steps backwards as we did last week but I am confident if we stick to the timeless plan of God’s word we will finish the race!

1 comments:

Tamara said...

Hey I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blog and I've chosen you for the Versatile Blogger Award! You can stop by http://hisperfectpromises.blogspot.com/ to pick it up. Have a blessed weekend!

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